Monday, February 14, 2011

I Love You! Here, Have a Cavity!

Well folks, today is Valentine's Day, the day where those in love flaunt their feelings and those of us who aren't bitch and moan about how it's a "stupid holiday built on commercialism." And because I want to be fair to both parties, I'm going to dedicate this blog to the history of everyone's favorite ant-acid: the candy conversation heart.
They're EVERYWHERE this time of year and, just like Marsh mellow Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs, tend to disappear for the rest of the year, much to the delight of those who abhor showing any happiness or emotion. 

Will U Be Mine?

In fact, conversation hearts have a pretty interesting story that dates back to the Civil War, when sugary candies with rolled-up romantic messages were enjoyed right before someone speared you with a Confederate bayonet.
Lookin' Good

Just kidding, in fact the candies were mostly enjoyed at weddings and contained some sort of whimsical saying such as "Married in White, You've Chosen Right" or "Married in Satin Love won't be Lasting." Clearly they weren't going for a rhyme on the second one, there. 
 
Modern conversation hearts were first produced in the early 1900s and today are produced primarily by the Necco corporation. Necco is famous for Necco Wafers, Mary Jane's and other candies that your Grandparents have probably had in their cupboards since 1950.
No Grandpa, I don't want Ribbon Candy..


Obviously the most popular sayings, such as "Kiss me" and "Be Mine" have stood the test of time, but Necco has always strives to keep with the times. In the 90's they first started modernizing their phrases by adding "Email Me" and "Fax me" to the collection of heartwarming phrases. It makes one wonder what they'll come up with next. "Skype Me?" or what about "Facebook Stalk Me?".

Despite the modernization, after 145 years later this candy is still going strong. This fact kind of surprises me though, because have you ever actually tried to eat one? They're hard as rocks. Sometimes you get a nice, soft, yummy one but most of the time I bite into one and wonder if I'm biting into my own tooth. That kind of kills the mood.

So, if you have a Valentine of not, enjoy the day and be thankful for all the people you do love this year, even if they don't buy you candy. Happy Valentines Day! <3

4 comments:

  1. I agree, funny how such a nasty candy can be so popular- I think it kinda speaks to how unoriginal and enslaved by tradition we are as a culture

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  2. Valentines Day candy is the worst! Those messages are nice, but I agree that Necco should at least try to make their candy taste good.

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  3. It's funny but the candy in the boxes tastes worse than if its in a plastic package. The brand Sweethearts is actually good and the candy isn't as hard and the flavors are amazing.

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  4. I really liked how you talked about Necco trying to keep up with the times. It hysterical to think that they may actually one day have hearts that say "facebook stalk me?"... doesn't seem like a far fetched scenario (not sure if thats a good thing though) Its funny because last year for valentines day I got my best friend these candy heart stickers that said things like " I hate you" or "bug off" or "you suck", and I found them to be hilarious because of the usual messages that the hearts say. I have yet to find those stickers again-I wish I had bought them for myself!

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