"Like the Ancient Hawaiians say.."

I can't believe that this week is the beginning of March! I  think everyone will agree with me when I say THANK YOU GOD. It's almost spring! (Kinda) that means I can actually go outside with one layer of clothing and not ruin my shoes trekking to Alpine in the snow! Warmer weather also means more outdoor activities, and this week I'm celebrating the patenting of one of the greatest outdoor activities. Hoola Hooping!

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

  The first Hula Hoop was patented on March 5, 1963 by the Wham-O company. You might be familiar with Wham-O, they're the company that made all the plushy, missile shaped toys and football that you probably spent countless hours torturing your younger siblings with back in the day. They also made the first frisbee!

lawled

Anyway, the company sold 25 million Hula Hoops in the first four months of production. See, this is why I dont understant why I bother with college sometimes. I can make millions upon millions of dollars selling hoops made out of freakin' PVC pipe, why am I wasting my time (and money) with all this worthless stress?

If you ever watch the show Pitchmen you know what I'm talking about. People invent a goddamn fold up wrench and they make millions. I have an ivy-league-level education and all I have to look forward to is mountains of debt for the next 30 years. Don't forget Grad School so I can get a "real job" somewhere down the line.

I'm not bitter, really!

Er, anyway, back to my point. Hula hoops are pretty fun and have lasted the test of time without really changing too much. They haven't changed because, as I've pointed out, its a hoop made of PVC pipe, not much room for change. People either are awesome at Hula Hooping or terrible. I'm somewhere in between I guess. Basically, when I don't think about it I can hula hoop like a champ, but most of the time I suck. My friend, Ethan, is actually one of the best Hula Hoopers I've ever seen but the catch is that he can only do it when he's drunk. If he tries to do it sober he can't keep it going. strange, but admirable at the same time

I don't know if I should be worried that it's clearly daytime..

 Happy almost spring! :D

You Might Be a Redneck..

Yeehawwww everybody! this week we're celebrating the anniversary of the best darn-tootin sports institution to ever grace these here United States! Y'all know I'm talking about NASCAR!

Yep, this week marks the 63rd anniversary of the founding of the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (wow, it does actually stand for something), known to all you rednecks as your beloved NASCAR. So crab your truckers cap, mullet styler, lucky strikes and a big case of Bud-Heavy and let's delve into this unfortunate American tradition.

"Already on it"

NASCAR got its start, like most traditions in the south, around booze. Stock car racing originated during Prohibition, when Moonshiners developed fast, lightweight cars in order to deliver their products while evading the cops. For those of you who've never been to the Appalachians, those roads can get pretty twisty, so it took some ingenious moonshiners to come up with the best and most effective liquor-smuggling machines.

Like this guy!

Eventually people found that it was a dang good time just to race these cars, and stock car racing started to become popular throughout the South. NASCAR really got its start though, in Daytona Beach, Florida where William France organized an official stock car racing league. This league was officialy christened the South's beloved NASCAR on February 21st 1948.

Today NASCAR is the second most watched sport in the United States with an estimatated 75 million fans. These fans apparently purchse over $3 billion worth of sports-related product each year. Thats a helluva lot of beer-dispensing hats. The NASCAR fan is a unique breed of American that doesn't occur to much in these here parts. You can make fun of 'em all day but in the end, they like what they like and don't care what you think, which I guess it a good way to live your life, especially if you're missing a few teeth.

Personally, I'm more of a "real" sports kinda girl and the thought of watching a car drive around an oval for 3 hours doesn't seem like a good time to me, no matter how many Budweisers I could choke down prior to it.

Why most of the world hates Americans..

I Love You! Here, Have a Cavity!

Well folks, today is Valentine's Day, the day where those in love flaunt their feelings and those of us who aren't bitch and moan about how it's a "stupid holiday built on commercialism." And because I want to be fair to both parties, I'm going to dedicate this blog to the history of everyone's favorite ant-acid: the candy conversation heart.
They're EVERYWHERE this time of year and, just like Marsh mellow Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs, tend to disappear for the rest of the year, much to the delight of those who abhor showing any happiness or emotion. 

Will U Be Mine?

In fact, conversation hearts have a pretty interesting story that dates back to the Civil War, when sugary candies with rolled-up romantic messages were enjoyed right before someone speared you with a Confederate bayonet.

Lookin' Good

Just kidding, in fact the candies were mostly enjoyed at weddings and contained some sort of whimsical saying such as "Married in White, You've Chosen Right" or "Married in Satin Love won't be Lasting." Clearly they weren't going for a rhyme on the second one, there. 
 
Modern conversation hearts were first produced in the early 1900s and today are produced primarily by the Necco corporation. Necco is famous for Necco Wafers, Mary Jane's and other candies that your Grandparents have probably had in their cupboards since 1950.

No Grandpa, I don't want Ribbon Candy..

Obviously the most popular sayings, such as "Kiss me" and "Be Mine" have stood the test of time, but Necco has always strives to keep with the times. In the 90's they first started modernizing their phrases by adding "Email Me" and "Fax me" to the collection of heartwarming phrases. It makes one wonder what they'll come up with next. "Skype Me?" or what about "Facebook Stalk Me?".

Despite the modernization, after 145 years later this candy is still going strong. This fact kind of surprises me though, because have you ever actually tried to eat one? They're hard as rocks. Sometimes you get a nice, soft, yummy one but most of the time I bite into one and wonder if I'm biting into my own tooth. That kind of kills the mood.

So, if you have a Valentine of not, enjoy the day and be thankful for all the people you do love this year, even if they don't buy you candy. Happy Valentines Day! <3

Best Thing to Happen To Music; The Worst Thing to Happen to Hair

"The British are coming, the British are coming!"
 In 1775 this message would have been brought to you by a fat silversmith on a horse, and would have aroused hundreds of strapping minutemen from their beds and running to gather their muskets and hardtack. 

Fast forward 189 years and this statement was delivered by radio and instead of arousing anger, it, quite literally, aroused thousands of  young women and sent them scrambling for JFK airport.

 

 

I don't think I've ever  been that excited for anything, ever.

 Yes, on February 7th 1964 The Beatles arrived in the United States for the first time. "I Want To Hold Your Hand" had been playing for 2 weeks in America by then and apparently the band wasn't sure how they were going to be received in America, especially since they had such a crazy fan-base back home. Well I think we proved that anything Britain can do America can do better because when the plane landed in the US there were an estimated 3 thousand hormone-fueled fans to greet them. And by greet them I mean scream at them until their lungs collapsed.

When the band appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show two days later it was viewed by 40% of the American public. No bands been that popular since, well, I guess N'Sync was pretty popular.

dreamy.

 Anyway, I know fully well that the Beatles changed the course of music history and rock and roll, so they get my respect. I'm not the biggest fan of their music though. Don't get me wrong, I like some songs like "I get by with a little help from my friends" and "I want to hold your hand" but other than that I never really got into them. It doesn't help that "Across the Universe" was a freakin' weird movie. And I like musicals. This just puts me in more of a minority here at Skidmore, but considering I'm a Country music fan, I never really aspired to fit in musically anyway.

Despite this I'm still open to new things, and if y'all have any good Beatles tunes you want to send my way in honor of this week, feel free to do so!

Anyone notice that yellow Volkswagen on the left is on the sidewalk? I wonder if the driver got a ticket..